sometimes i write notes to my sweatshirt

Sometimes I think aloud, but it's Saturday--you don't care, do you?

Dear Charlemagne,

You were a great guy; sure, it's impressive that the pope crowned you "Holy Roman Emperor." But don't you think it's going a bit far when we have to know every single person who was related to you and is related to you or is named after you or who admires you--ok, so maybe I'm exaggerating. But still.

Dear Chlorine,

You are my perfume all day long. Somehow I can't escape you (*I wonder why*). But please, please, please...don't dry out my skin till I'm all scaly and wrinkled like, ummmmmm, a dead snake--I know, kind of extreme, but it gets my point across.

Dear Wooly Worms,

Hope you had fun in our lab yesterday. Who ever knew that orange strands of yarn could asexually reproduce? It was fascinating to watch as 6 generations of you came and went, although I do sort of feel sorry that your lives are so short. But look on the bright side! You'll be unpacked again next semester for another bio 106 class!

Dear Coffee,

Thanks for keeping me awake.

Dear Sweatshirt,

You're the best. Thank you for not complaining when you're soaked in chlorine. Thank you for keeping me warm at 5 in the morning when I'm headed to CYAC.

Dear Flute,

Take care of yourself so we don't have to send you to get your cork replaced again. I apologize for not practicing yet today, but I promise that I will.

*****

(...and the start of the school year inevitably finds me talking to my stuff...)